GIVE THE DAY A BIG SMILE!!!

A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness-Charles Baudelaire

A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness-Charles Baudelaire

I guess my recovery speed is quite fast, as commented be my sister.

Maybe because I have come to accept that it is the most logical thing to do at this point of time. Logics, how it can bog a person down, yet it can also give answers for the things that you are looking for.

Over the past few days, after I am done with walloping in my ‘soap opera ‘ I did quite a bit of thinking and writing. I am enlightened! Haha I am being dramatic here.

All in all, I think that we went into this whole thing too abruptly. However, I really enjoyed the time that we had together.

For the first few days after he told me, I really forced myself not to think about him. I totally forbid myself to think about him. But now, I thought what wrong with thinking about him? He is my friend after all.

I admit there are some things I still miss about the whole relationship. One main thing would be the care and concern he showered on me. Just like yesterday, when I was eating roti prata, I remembered the last time we went to eat roti prata together during my friend’s birthday celebration.

He did a lot of sweet things for me like helping me to get the prata and putting gravy for me. Haha I know I am being pampered. But it is a nice feeling once in a while. I also remembered the time when I ordered milo dinosaur while he ordered tea. We exchanged drinks and found that we liked each other drinks more then the ones we ordered for ourselves. Those were nice and sweet moments that we used to have. Surprisingly I was not sad or on the verge of crying, instead those memories put a tinge of smile on my face.

I realised that by forcing myself to not think about him is very tiring, but instead, by allowing myself to think about him makes me get over it more quickly. I guess I am accepting it now.

If I continue to avoid it by not thinking about it, I am really doing myself a great disservice, because I would not only lose a potential good friend I will also not learn anything and bring away anything from this experience. I might live on a bitter and wilful person who only thinks that everyone else is wrong.

I can even talk to him like last time. I feel more myself now when I speak to him, more at ease with myself.

But one thing I cannot bring myself to do is apologising to him. I know that I ought to do it, because I really owe him one. For now, I think it is not the right time. For me, that is.

posted by maevbe @ 10:38 PM