GIVE THE DAY A BIG SMILE!!!

tired.. what should i feel?

tired.. what should i feel?

I do not know what I should feel right now, would there ever be a correct feeling for what I am feeling right now? I feel so tired…

Just as I felt that things were getting better, it might not be as good as what I think. We have got back all out results, and I scored fairly well in my opinion as I have improved a lot. I manage to pass all my subjects and my most satisfying subject is math! I passed. I feel so happy, I feel like putting a big grin on my face and tell everyone that I have done well. I really put in effort for this exam, so I really hoped to do well and I did, so I am proud of myself.

But sometimes, we just have to be sensitive to the others. My friend, one in particular did not do well, so she was quite upset, and she was saying that she should not get this kind of results. One things I felt fed up was that she did not even study for the exam, she spend the whole holiday going on holiday or going out, she did not ven have CCA commitments so when she said that she did not deserved to get this kind of result really makes people wonder a bit. But I guess, she knows that it is because she never studies so she is really putting in great effort now! Yay! Go go!

Another thing that makes me not being able to feel so happy about my results would be him. He did not fare as well as he expected and he was really really disappointed over his results. I really know what to do, I did not know how to console him. Sometimes I feel that he makes me feel so helpless in front of him, there are so many times when I see him sad or disappointed over things and no matter what I say would not improve things. It renders me very helpless and frustrated.

So I guess he is also very anxious over the poor results he obtained. I know I should understand, I tried. I stopped bugging him online, I do not message him unnecessarily, I try to understand tutorials better so that I can answer any questions if he does not know. But I guess, just trying is not enough. I cannot understand tutorials fast, I need lots of proseeing time, so I guess I did not help him much afterall.

Finally I guess the both of us came to a common decision, because we thought that waiting for each other after school was a waste of time so we thought that we shloud just go home on our own and concentrate on our studies for these few months. I am not sure if we are doing that correct thing, it might caused us to drift apart after all we do not really see each other in school. I guess it is really up to fate now.. but somehow I can’t seem to shake oft this sad and down feeling I am having. But this must not affect my studies, or else it would defeat the purpose of everything.

posted by maevbe @ 12:07 AM