GIVE THE DAY A BIG SMILE!!!

I am not really that kind of people that knows how to express my feelings. One of the reason would be that I think that it is no use, it would solve anything and the other reason being, it would exposed too much of myself to others, furthermore most of the time I feel happy. I hardly express many different sides of my feelings to my family, and even lesser to my friends. They have the impression that I am a very easy going girl (I am, anyway), that I do not have a care in the world. Sometimes I do, but I just do not know how to express them. These few day with him being sick, I really felt worried, like is he feeling okay, would he be tired etc. but I is quite difficult for me to tell it to him, partly because of my reserved nature and that I do not have a lot of chances to communicate with him in school as we are in different classes and take totally different combinations considering the fact that I am in arts and him, in science. I really hoped that he gets well soon.

posted by maevbe @ 6:15 PM 0 Comments

I feel like such a bad person. I did not even notice that he did not come to school in the morning because he was sick. He even have to message me later in the day to tell me that he is sick. I feel so bad. The last time I was sick, he even went to ask my friends what happen to me and called to to make sure I was okay, and now… haiz. Feel so bad….

posted by maevbe @ 6:22 PM 0 Comments

Wonderful match!

These days I realized I am get irritated very easily and a lot of people seem to be getting on my nerves. I know that the two above are repetitive. Maybe it is because I am too tired these days, can’t seem to keep my upbeat self up.

I was sick yesterday, and went ahead on to do P.E. today, and played basketball. Heee, if my mother finds out she will scream. I used to be on the basketball team in the past, but I have not played it at all for like about 2 years, partly because I have lost interest in basketball. When playing today my skills was a bit rusty but it comes back as you practice more, I managed to shoot a few hoops during the match.

My teacher had asked me to be his assistant coach for this period since I had played basketball before. I did not play as aggressive as I used to be, one of the reason is that I am sick today, another would be that I do not want to hurt my friends, after all they are not very good in the sport and playing it was only for leisure there is no need to be that aggressive and everyone would still enjoy themselves. I think one of my classmate was quite pissed as she had very high expectations and thinks that everyone should play like that person is my enemy, thus she was not that happy when I encouraged my friend on the opposing team to shoot and not hesitate. To her it was all about winning on the court. But to me, I guess for now is to let my friends get used to the game and enjoy themselves.

Yes! Today I went to watch the basketball match. Our school was playing against HCI in the finals! The boys did well although they have lost. Yes! Go go AJ! I had a totally enjoyable time cheering! Haha and now I am still high over the game!

posted by maevbe @ 10:40 AM 0 Comments

Lalalala I am so tired and crappy so I am finding some place to crap. Like here.

Today I do not feel like doing anything at all. I have just reached home from school and the time now is like 9.30 pm. Great timing, I have just enough time to type out my crap, wash up and sleep. Tomorrow is my 2.4km test and I totally hate running, to make things worse it is held in the afternoon. I sincerely hope that the weather tomorrow will, be fine and not hot like today’s or I will like totally die there.

Tomorrow there will be a bridge session too, I do not feel like going because it is after my 2.4km run and the other reason would be that it ends very very late. Plus, I have already anticipated a problem that would definitely occur tomorrow during the bridge session that would be the timer in the auditorium. Everyday at 6pm, there will be a timer in the control room that would automatically switch off all the system in the audi after 6pm and tomorrow bridge session would definitely last after 6, thus there is a definite probability that I have to go out there and solve the problem which I absolutely detest doing. Therefore the only way I can avoid this thing would be to skip bridge! Haizz, I would just have to skip or pray real hard that it would not be held in the auditorium.

Let me go flip a coin and decide if I want to go to bridge tomorrow and I am super tired. Quite sick and tired of school and everything else.

posted by maevbe @ 9:49 PM 0 Comments

tired tired tired

I am so tired, real tired.

Sometimes, I think that the improvements I made are so slow, slow and slow. At times, I feel that I am not making any improvement at all, and it gets depressing after sometime. It is just like doing a lot of things and not getting anything back at all and it doesn’t help at all if your teacher is totally results driven.

My math teacher seems to be very results driven. Every time I am happy that I have at least made a bit of improvement, he will actually say something to dampen my spirit. For the last few weeks, I have being reaching home late due to my involvement in my CCA. I would always reach home after 8 pm, on most of the days, I would only reach home at about 10pm, it leaves me with very little time to complete something so most of the time I would do my math homework during class or breaks. I would of course be slower in my work but at least I try and make a point to be doing slightly ahead of what he is teaching, but he would always say something like, besides doing your work you also have to take note of how long you spend on a question, with that dreadful sarcasm in his voice! And sometimes he would even skip the whole lesson without asking the class. I get so frustrated. Now days, I totally give up on listening in his class, as the solutions he gives are either full of errors or are Greek to everyone else in the classroom. I am also note that the number of questions raised in class are getting lesser and lesser, because no one understand his explanations, and every time I ask him a question for reconfirmations, he will like, you are so dead how could you not know this, go and ask your friends I do not think I need to answer this. Now, I totally heck him, and not ask anymore questions, let him solidify into a rock for all I care, I am just going to ask my friends.

This week would not be as hectic as the last, but next week the coming home routine would start again. But this would be over soon. After May, we would step down and hand over to the new batch. This year batch seems okay and better than last year, but I am afraid they are too clique-ish and in the long run it might affect their performance. Furthermore it is too big a group this year, although the year one feel that there is too little people but after they start out they will realized there are actually too many people and there will sure be people who will be the sleeping members, I can even pick out a few now. Sooner or later, I can predict there will be some sort of conflict, I just hope they are able to get around it some how.

Next thing that is bogging me down would be that some people in AVA are just getting on my nerves by relentlessly teasing me or trying to fish out information. They are irritating me, at this moment now, they are so many orange windows flashing and out of the five windows, two are the irritating freaks that keep asking me or at least take every single opportunities and every word I say to link to him! My only solution, ignore them to the end!
Haizz, I am tired.

posted by maevbe @ 7:45 PM 0 Comments